Tuesday 19 September 2017

SALLY...PART 187. DENTAL IMPRESSIONS TODAY AND THE WORST TEN MINUTES OF MY LIFE !

There is NO preparing yourself for the full horror of a dental impression !

It is HORRIBLE ! And if you think you DON'T have a 'Gagging Reflex' YOU DO !

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise !

Don't believe a word your dentist says !

Breathe slowly and deeply through your mouth whilst having pleasant thoughts ?

TOSH !

And when he takes it out it's just as bad if not WORSE !

Next time I will insist on a General Anaesthetic !

I am going to write two apologetic cards if they print such things...one to my dentist and one to his nurse !

As his 'tool' hit my gagging spot I grabbed his wrist in a vice like grip desperate to force his diabolical 'tray' device out of my mouth but he overcame my force with even greater force and pushed it in further and HELD it there for a full YEAR whilst Nurse Sarah held my other hand and stroked it, urging me to breathe deeply through my nose...which I couldn't because holding my jaws apart shut off those normally quite sizeable passages !

Now retching whilst your being sick is a doddle compared to the retching you'll do when having an impression taken and I'm NOT joking !

As I sat there flailing and retching abominably, fighting against my dentist Mr Williamson's determination, Nurse Sarah kept an iron grip on my left hand whilst strokng it furiously yet gently enough for me to start having disgusting thoughts about her, thoughts that nearly made me miss her gently cooing voice......."Think nice thoughts Mr Nash ! Think of you getting a hole in one on the golf course on a bright sunny day ! Try and imagine lying in a field of daisies whilst your favourite dental nurse lies sleeping beside you ! Try and picture a tinkling stream or puffy clouds over a lake in Switzerland and other lovely things ! Do you know 'High On A Hill Sat A Lonely Goat Herd from The Sound Of Music Mr Nash ? I'll sing it if you hum along ! Come on now Mr Williamson, you whistle the tune for us !"

And that's how we got through the whole DISGUSTING experience...Mr Williamson whistling, Nurse Sarah singing her heart out and me trying to bravely retch in harmony !

It'll be two weeks before I go back to complete my course of treatment and I don't even think I'll let that deeply brain vibrating slow drill thing bother me after today !

1 comment: