Sally..Part 159, HOW CAN A CHEF FORGET ONE OF THE THREE COMPONENTS OF A MEAL !

THE COUNTRY HOUSE HOTEL...OUR SUITE WAS ALL THREE FLOORS AS SEEN HERE !

We were treated to a night in a Country House Hotel last night and found that we ate our evening meal alone !

Can anyone else see 'Buttered Leeks' and 'Crushed Potatoes' ? I'm sure that that's what it says !

Shirley had ordered for her main course 'Baked cod on shrivelled leeks and crushed potatoes' or some such thing and when it arrived she searched it thoroughly for any sign of leeks but found them missing !

Our Wine Waiter who was passing for the twentieth time and had nothing to do but look professional had a word with the Chef and returned to inform us that the Chef had forgotten to cook them but would instantly remedy the situation but of course you can't really shrivel leeks in the minute and a half it took him so Shirley ate almost raw warm leeks without complaining and her potatoes hadn't been crushed either !

We WERE offered a free glass of wine each as his way of apologising but as we were hard put to finish the 125ml of House Red we were about to pay a fiver each for we declined for fear of being seen reeling drunkenly up to our chamber !

As it was we fell into a heavy sleep by 9pm and Shirley missed the second episode of Emmerdale which vexed her when she woke for the day at 10pm !

We 'took' breakfast in the deserted Breakfast Room and thought it must be us but this gave us Carte Blanche to eat a full 'Continental' before requesting 'A Full English' !

Why the menu asked one to request Black Pudding or Baked Beans as an extra is beyond my comprehension and why Shirley got a Hash Brown and I DIDN'T also baffled me but the waitress was VERY pretty and I didn't want to appear quarrelsome !

Shirley ate a pastry after her Full Continental but BEFORE her Full English and sent me back for a French Yogurt and another pastry AFTER her Full English which bafflingly included a poached egg with ALL the white removed !

Hotel bathrooms without an opening window or a properly functioning fan are not conducive to romance !

We were stuffed when we left at ten and made our way across country to Howick Hall where after an hour and a halfs exhausting walk and before we did another hour and a halfs even more exhausting walk, Shirley asked that if we went into the restaurant whether I would be happy to share a sandwich and a cream tea .

Now a sandwich at Howick hall is a massive affair with salad and coleslaw and I was still feeling stuffed as she'd made ME eat her French yogurt at breakfast because after opening it she didn't like it when she KNEW I'd already had Rice Krispies, a Full English, a slice of toast and jam and a pastry, two cups of coffee and a glass of apple juice so I said "I'm really still not hungry but you have them." in a kindly voice.

"Well that's ruined my day then just because YOU say YOU'RE not hungry that has to mean I'M not hungry when I AM !"

We walked on in silence until I lied, "Actually I DO feel hungry now so we WILL share a sandwich and a Cream Tea !"

"You're just saying it aren't you ? Well it's too late and I've lost my appetite thanks to your selfishness !"

"No HONESTLY, I AM hungry now and I REALLY didn't mean to upset you so come on Poochy Poo, say you will !"

"OK then but I'll spread your clotted cream or you'll scoff the lot !"

So when the waitress approached to take our order Shirley said, "I'd like a slice of Mars Bar Crispy Cake and a Cream Tea with Earl Grey and milk, not lemon please and my husband will have a pot of coffee."

Anyone notice a sandwich missing from the order there ? The sandwich that nearly caused a divorce !

"Shirley, I thought you wanted one of their sandwiches ?" I probed gently.

"I hate sandwiches, you know I do !"

I was then allowed a sliver of Mars Bar Crispy Cake and a corner of her massive scone onto which she smeared an almost invisible layer of butter, jam and clotted cream !

We then completed our walk with about 8000 calories inside one of us !