Wednesday 10 August 2016

Sally..Part 163. SHIRLEY WOULD RATHER WATCH JOSH GROBAN SING THAN RUSH TO MY AID DURING A HEART ATTACK !

JOSH GROBAN !
ME !
I KNOW that I am less talented than Josh Groban !

I'm no longer a geeky looking thirty four year old with a magnificent baritone voice who can play the piano effortlessly and compose beautiful songs that reach deep into the souls of women !

Nor am I the sort of man that millions of women around the world want to crush to their breasts !

I never was any of those things !

I can't play the drums like a Rock God either and neither can I hold an audience of twenty thousand
adoring women in the palm of my hand but none of this prepared me for last night's 'request' when
during our watching of the Josh's DVD of his 'AWAKE' tour a searing pain cut through my left chest, making me gasp and cry out !

In response to my clutching my heart and collapsing backwards on the settee with my eyes rolling upwards and a dreadful agonised roar obliterating the fully cranked up TV volume , Shirley shouted above both dins, "Can you please NOT die until the end of this NOTE !" (a particularly long-held one) and carried on watching the man sing 'L'ULTIMA NOTTE' with tears running down her cheeeks and sobbing with her entire hanky virtually stuffed into her mouth !

I'm sure any woman reading this will fully appreciate my wife's dilemna especially as I then went on to admit that the pain was more than likely caused by my ribs being pressed hard against the 'piping' on the edge of the settee's arm which almost certainly 'twanged' a tiny inter-costal muscle !

And now I fear that when the real heart attack strikes I will be scoffed at and asked if I remember the story of the boy who cried wolf !

I'll stop writing now as Shirley insists on using the laptop to check on Josh's latest tweets !

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