Tuesday 25 October 2016

Sally...Part 165.TRUST ME, IT WASN'T ME I SWEAR IT !



You might be as shocked as I was to discover that some thirty five years ago I momentarily relaxed my high moral standards and apparently allowed a woman to spend an afternoon with me !

How this information came to light had best not be revealed as it involves a degree of indiscretion by both the woman and the person she revealed the information to who then revealed it to the person I am married to who then asked to have a word with me in private, in her room !

Now obviously I was considerably younger then and evidently considered a dish by the 29 year old mother of seven who despite having so many children found the time to 'spend an afternoon' with me, seduce me and take from me what I held most dear, my cherry !

I have no recollection whatsoever of that afternoon which frankly would have been six minutes at best and whether or not as a red-blooded man I would have behaved in such a reprehensible way has to be a matter for discussion amongst those who once held me in esteem but who now hold me in contempt !

For my part I certainly had a shop at the time and a beard and shoulder length hair which was unusual for the town and skin tight bright blue jeans with red buttons down the front of the flies which I thought made me look hot though the thought of me prancing around in them now makes me feel hot under the collar but giving of myself to a woman, any woman and one with SEVEN children seems ridiculous !

Not that I would have stooped so low as to ask a potential conquest how many children she'd had before I indulged had I ever considered indulging which I absolutely deny because I am an honourable man !

As an aside and hopefully as an example of my trustworthiness, an extremely attractive and fit young woman of 18 once came in and asked me whether I could make her a leather bra and panties for her to wear when she entertained other young ladies which was her bent and when I said I could and would but would have to measure her whilst wearing only a pair of briefs....her not me...as long as she brought along a chaperone, she said that she trusted me as I had to be Gay to make leather bags and therefore not a threat !

But that's by the by and I must return to my original tale........

In pleading my innocence and incredulity at the preposterous accusation I asked a couple of questions of my interrogator.......Would I, a married man, or any married man for that matter, risk his marriage for a moment's, well six minute's pleasure and did she think I wouldn't have run a mile from an obviously sex mad woman with what even I, with absolutely no knowledge of women, would have thought rather flaccid parts after having had seven children and with them...the children and not the parts....waiting at home for her to return to feed them and all ?

No of course I wouldn't have accepted her invitation ! I would have said, "Ma'am I am both flattered and horrified at the same time but I must decline your offer ! Now please leave my premises and never return !"

I would have then marched to my front door, flung IT open and her OUT !

I don't doubt the woman, if she was telling the truth had needs and settled on a young man with a shop to fulfil them but it wasn't me though it could have been a customer of mine who I'd asked to mind the shop whilst I popped out for a sandwich !

Yeh ! That must have been what happened !

I'm certain that my wife believed me though she has continued to question me about 'that slag', mostly at inconvenient times like at 2am, 3am, 4am, 5am and 6am after jabbing me sharply in the ribs with a violent elbow every night since the revelation !

Actually would a young woman of 29 with seven children really go on the prowl ?

I think not and believe that the woman who is now 64 is a fantasist !

And it's a good job that my wife and children implicitly trust me and accept my account !

Finally, I feel confident that future generations reading this will find it hard to believe that my version isn't` completely true even if other gold-digging skeletons emerge from the cupboard to sully my name before and/or after I am gone and can't defend myself !

REMARKABLY....today, a week after I wrote this I and my very forgiving and trusting wife got on a bus to Morpeth and on two front seat were three really gobby women who never shut up for a single minute throughout the forty five minute journey !

Next to me the woman who had researched Facebook thoroughly and come up with several photographs of the alleged lady suddenly said, "That's the one ! The blonde on the left !"

I told her she was daft and denied the incident ever took place, hoping that she wasn't about to create a scene which she didn't but I felt that she desperately wanted to say something ! In fact I know she did because she told me !

The ladies got off in Morpeth and four hours later the blonde and one of the other women got back on the same bus as we did and once again talked non-stop for the entire return journey !

If that wasn't bad enough the blonde then transferred onto our next bus home as well !

My wife couldn't wait to get home and bring up the photos which showed that indeed it WAS the alleged culprit !

OH MY GAWD !

SWEAT THAT ONE LADS !

Actually, my memory isn't that bad and I honestly have no idea who the woman was and the one on the bus absolutely certainly wasn't my type, then or now !


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